lausse the cat

[Intro: The Young Wizard (Acting as a Narrator)]

Gather 'round, boys, girls and children; I have a fable to read to you all. Our story begins on a warm summer's day; in a small tattered town; in a small tattered house, where a small tattered cat resided... mainly in his bed. A sad cat, rendered cold and withered by the whispers of his past actions

The cat lay alone in his tattered bed... wondering... and pondering... his lonesome thoughts

[Verse 1: Lausse the Cat]

They ask me, "Lausse

Why you never step a Nike out your house?

Why you always in the dark with lights but only at your snout?

Why we only see your carca** at a party when you're lit?

Or when you're out for rounds in town

To scout yourself another b*t*h?"

I said, I said "I don't see the point in gettin' dressed

I don't even see the point in gettin' breakfast if I'm honest

Some would say I fit the symptoms of depressed and alcoholic

But a smile's upon my face when I'm in bed and writin' sonnets

Maybe I'm just not the problem, but the world I walk upon

Where I live, the sun don't shine - or very little to my knowledge

All I see is battered people on the powder gettin' on it

Seems we live for fun - but when it's done

We live for battered sausage

I don't wanna make my money doin' nothin' in an office

I don't wanna spend my money on a coffee or a bonnet

With a godly brand upon it

I ain't a**ed for livin' right

Get degrees and spend my life with what I've made from nine to five"

[Interlude: The Young Wizard (Acting as a Narrator) & Lausse The Cat]

The cat decided to take a stroll through his local park. *laughs*

He likes that park. (That's a very nice park, absolutely lovely)

And as he sat down on his favorite bench, a small girl in a blue dress came up to him and asked, "Why do you look so sad?"

The cat answered;

[Verse 2: Lausse The Cat]

Motor City, half-a**ed with the lights

Heavy hand with the pint gla** and dance in the night

After half-past three when the time starts

Barking the bystanders home with a fight and a scratch card

Life in Motor City ain't much

Grey skies lie here, and a couple Mecca Bingoes

Bin-ridden streets full of sin-ridden teens

With some dim-litten lights while the kitten doth feel low

Bystanders try pa** the time

With a pint in their hand and some lines and a fiver

See more than four times a day the demise of a soul

Asking wide-eyed for change or a lighter

Life in this mess makes a heart numb

I ventured a quest to inspect why my heart's wrong

Backpack my way through the thrills of a young man

And fast forward with time and it seems that my heart's gone

[Outro: The Young Wizard (Acting as a Narrator)]

"That sounds bloody awful" said the girl

"How on earth did you get to lose your heart?

I know a wizard, who lives on top of the hill over yonder

Maybe he can help you..."

[Intro: Lausse The Cat & The Young Wizard]

Hello, Tree Man!

What you saying, Lausse?

Please pa** me my can

What's wrong now?

Moon man borrowed my slumber

Is that why I see black rings under the eyes of The Cat?

Indeed

And he said that he won't give it back, that's peak

Yeah see, it's not fair, Tree Wizard

Boy, do you drink 'cause you got some sorrows?

[Verse 1: Lausse The Cat & The Young Wizard]

Nah, I see it's more to confuse my innards

Some parts hollow, these parts need filling

Some guys got keys, me, I got liquor

Some guys got synagogues, some vicars

I got eyes witnessing sunrise often

Side by side, with a wine on offer

Yeah, don't mind me, just pa** my bottle

Fine, have wine, but try be subtle

If Sun Rah see's I gave you something bad

He'll take my leaves and make me sad

Then I'll come kill the sadness

Come back cracked with a zoot and a Magners

Some piff yat and a fat bag of catnip

Calm down, Lausse, let's not get vivid

Sometimes life's unfair, but listen (okay)

When you're sad, don't draw for liquor (why?)

'Cause, well, as a London kid

I would come with abundant spliffs

Usually p*ssed

Sometimes give that I miss these days

Mistakes that I've made

I'll avoid like a plague

'Cause I've gotta stay with it

Try stay sane so I'll speak on a written

Sometimes wonderin', who am I kiddin'?

Then see me draw straight for the liquor

Listen

Get - get drinking, boy!

(Yo, baby, let's get f**ked up, man!)

Listen, Lausse, you know that I've been about

Swiggin' liquor ain't gonna heal the pain that you're tryna drown

Let me tell you a little story 'bout a young man who's buried now

With all of his glory (goddamn, son)

Had a hole where he thought his heart would be

Filled it up with booze, birds, packets, and ecstasy

Little did he know the hole was gettin' bigger

Naturally, he decided he needed more drugs and liquor

A different picture was bein' painted now

As the young man began spiralin' down and down

So he decided it was time to give it up

With little luck, he tried

Spent days cryin' and tryna find a way out (oh no!)

Ended up right where he started

Days later he had dearly departed

The hole grew larger until he fell inside

Only to resurrect as this Tree Wizard

Reminiscin' upon his past life

‍

[Intro: The Young Wizard (Acting as a Narrator)]

You see now, Lausse

You don't need drugs and alcohol to have fun

Remember your days as a boy before the times of substance

— or substances for that matter —

Remind yourself of a time when things were simpler and more innocent, perhaps...

[Verse 1: Lausse the Cat (and The Young Wizard)]

Once upon a time, in a place

There lived a gang of boys who would barter with fate

P*ssed about, avoidin' a start of a day

When things get annoying like bills and low payed shifts

Skipped cla** and aimed to go arsin' about

Nick beer from the nearest Tesco's around

Fear nothing but a dear mother's pout

So the f**kery would start just as soon as they left home

Skate in a car park, chased by the guards

Seeing no cinema scenes but this one is one

See some half arsed d**kheads in an R coloured mimicking the *beep* on the checker of an oyster

Make it £2.5, you don't give us many choices

Boisterous dim-witted boys on a loiter

See me skip a cla** to engage myself in coitus

Any ways i digress, man (Yo, Lausse, get back to the point, man)

We would skate car parks and go spray paint

Get chased by guards, lob bricks at the trains

Go squat rave weekly and try stay sane

Seein' ODs, guns, stabs, and keys to the face

So I chant to myself, "Run, run when they sing

Have fun fill your heart, doin' dumb little things"

Paint, fight, steal some, run when the pigs come

Lausse fills the dark, doin' sc*mmy little things

Bunch of devils found a funny place to breathe

The ruins of a temple called "abandoned factory"

They would spend their days there, pretend to climbing trees

Steppin' over some syringes, avoidin' HIV

See, the brats were back at it again

Markin' flags with the tip of their pens

Skatin' on the rooftops, chillin' 'til a huge chopper

Came down and chased 'em right out of their den (f**k)

And there, out of nowhere, to the rascals' disbelief

Came a chopper flyin' at them, on the sides written "POLICE"

[Bridge: Lausse the Cat]

Run, run when they swing

Feel the air as the blades from the helicopter sing

Paint, fight, steal some, run when the pigs come

Run fast though now...

[Verse 2: Lausse the Cat]

They thought quick then upped the pace, balaclava to the face

Saying sayonara to the chopper seemed a bit irrational

Blacka went full cannibal mode and tried to jump seven meters

Devils simmered down and took the time to take a breather

And figure out a plan (goddamn)

"How the f**k we gonna lose a chopper, man?" (What happened next?)

They start considerin' the seven meter dimwit plan

Once they start hearin' sirens in the distance

And I swear that I mean it when I say that, for an instant

I envisioned my a** in the cell, then I snapped up, relaxed

Put the cans in the back, gathered round, made a plan

Counted to three, and we ran past the cars in the streets

(Whoop, whoop, that's the sound of the police)

Swoop, swoop — that's the sound of the ground against my feet

As I whistle past the air and disappear into the alleyway

Steer towards the underground, and hand of death the barricade

The guy says, "come back!", I said, "do one"

(Please mind the gap) fine but please get a move on!

See me get a tree powered train to the south

Where I met with mates and we partied in the house

Eyes met with a girl

"Run, run when he sings

See, he'll try to have your heart just to fill up on his own

Done being chased by the piggies in the road

Kitty's rush now comes from the vulnerable girls"

[Outro: B-ahwe]

Careful, fuccbois on the loose

‍

[Pre-verse 1: Lausse the Cat]

House party in a Hyde Park road with the Function One's yelling "guys come over

Front yards in a state, some girls doin’ NOS well away from the heat and the odours

"Name, please"

"Yeah, I'm on plus-one, sir and my mates are too" so we swerve past the bouncer

Crew splits, some go house, grime heads downstairs and I move to the girl on the counter like

"Hello, ma Cherie, I be off my nut

Got a few beers bubbling about my gut

Like your eyes, hair, thighs, mouth and rounded bumper

Lausse The Cat, you can take my number

Take my hand do a twirl "gottdamn"

And I swear I ain't never seen as pretty of a girl

Eyes glimmering be looking like pearls

Bit cheesy I know but my sleazy approach won’t work yet...

[Verse 1: Lausse the Cat]

...but you can be my mistress

I'll be your furry a**istant

Purpose be serving your thirst ridden wishlist

Cursed to increase all your thoughts hedonistic

A purrve in the sheets see my chirpse your hibiscus

Your a** be my biscuit

'bit egotistic

But gives in the sheets like a service at Christmas

First month free til' I swerve in the distance

And don't ask why it's my terms and conditions"

She looks in his eyes with despise but a hindrance to tell a drunk guy to get lost in an instant

Instead smiles and says "I admire your wishful thinking what's your name"

I said Lausse The Kitten

And we talked in the kitchen a fable of nonsense

Rushed up the stairs

Hopscotching the long steps

Pranced round the top floor in search of a locked bed

Nix on the keys; tell the boys what went on next

[Pre-verse 2: Lausse the Cat]

And they sexed all month

So I guess you could call it puppy love

And of course kitten kicked in the end

Before the lust turned dry

And as tough as the girl seemed

Cursed she fell with thoughts unsolved

Called the cat but he already had a new girl by his side

[Verse 2: Lausse the Cat]

Sorry my darling

Should have been clearer

L never stays long

He just disappears to

Bodybag hearts for a scarf in the winter

When the spark goes I don't linger

Commenced by lust yet

Trust will desist it

Hey honey I think it’s best I insist I get

The f**k out of this picture

Don’t cry, don't give a sh*t

Let a new romance be an elixir

Would you prefer if I left you the morning after

No calls, no talks or laughter

Just sauce and flesh

And shamed walks through parks

And no constant sex from said sex toy

[Pre-verse 3: Lausse the Cat]

Don’t get vexed

Heard love songs sung by a fuccboi

Shouldn't be alarmed if I duck

Oi, don't start slating my name cos' I’m not entertained no more

I made it clear it's a fling

Cos' I don't really wanna

Come to the point where I spunk on your thigh

After 10 minutes straight

Cos' I'm comfy inside

And I bust on your thigh

Cos' we only do it sideways now

Now we're done exploring

We know what excites us

You know what my minds like

I know when you're done soon

Rushed through sex now before bed and never noon

Thrice in the week the excitement done left us now

So I'll say "yo babe imma cut soon"

"Spoon me"

"F**k that"

"Don't be a c**t Cat"

"Sorry, imma go bun some hash where my don's at?"

"Right here"

"Yes lad"

"Let's get seshed out"

"Give me a sec with this girl then I'll get back"

Walked to the girl sitting down on her side

Saw him approach, thought he switched up his mind

Flipped her around got the girl upside down

With her neck to the floor (stop) as he distanced her thighs (what are you doing?)

Fisted her a** as he ran past the cervix

Reached to her heart ripped it out with a firm grip

Gulped it in one then the cat disappeared

Left Lucy with one bad heart and her tears

‍

[Chorus]

Hey man, do you think you could lend me a bit of cash?

12 for two bottles of red wine 10 for a Ben's of hash

You could buy some K and we could make it through the night

Something in my head has made me scared of what’s inside

I've had an awful day, I'm feeling sorry for myself

Don’t tell me to stop, I didn't come to you for help

Just to get a loan to buy myself some wine and beer

Fill this hole of mine and let my troubles disappear

[Verse 1]

Belle bouteille, viens ici que j'te caresse

Tu me plais et j'ai un peu de monnaie donc allons à la caisse

Prends ma main, on va se balader et dépêche toi ça presse

Laisse-moi reposer mes lèvres, faut se saouler en express

J'ai un boulot qui me pèse, laisse moi apaiser mes peines

On peut appeler tes potes

Moretti pas Heineken

Plus de cœur entre mes côtes

Comprends-tu pet**e en verre, tout le rouge que tu contiens laisse le couler dans mes veines...

(Le chat est parti dansant dans la rue

Mais plus de battement de cœur on s'en tape de ton châtiment)

Et à la main une belle ‘teille de vin

Tu me gardes maladroit

Et je te garderai frais sous les ombres noires des bâtiments

On me dit que j'abuse

Je joue Albert Camus

Je veux des femmes nues, de la bouffe, un peu d'art

Et je battis mon chemin

C’est pour ça que j’suis puni

Entre collines faites de vin

Je dirais que j'suis bien loti

[Verse 2]

Motor city hella cla** in the night

Heavy hand serves nicely when the pelican arrives

Half-a** lights act as candles for a Blanche

When desire for the use of double-bedding comes to mind

Swig a bit of house, it embellishes the night

Let the liquor in the wine be the flicker in the gla** frame

Wizard took the pulse that resided in my cage

Saino’s £4,99 be the red flow in my veins

Life in Motor City kinda pricey, but if you're feeling lucky

There's a couple Mecca Bingos

Win a bit of copper dough

Spend it on a bottle go

Linger by the wide-eyed in need of a lighter (guy comes up n' says)

"I’m in need of some guidance, why would a guy so mighty delight in my suffering, what a shoddy kingdom

Driven by my Wille zum Leben;

I'm sad and I'm lonely again"

[Hook]

I said: Hey man! (quoi qu'est ce qu'il y a ?) Take a walk on the wild side (qu'est ce qu'il veut ce bouffon, tu veux une claque ou quoi ?)

No. Hey man, (quoi je te jure, j'vais te gifler) take a walk on the wild side (arrête avec ton wild side de merde là)

No, and Chill man, Hey man, (Hey man, ouais j'ai compris) take a walk on the wild side. (aaaah! ah oui)

There you go

Hey man, take a walk on the wild side. (and the moon man says…)

[Chorus]

Hey, man do you think you could lend me a bit of cash?

12 for two bottles of red wine 10 for a Ben's of hash

You could buy some K and we could make it through the night

Something in my head has made me scared of what's inside

I've had an awful day, I'm feeling sorry for myself

Don't tell me to stop I didn't come to you for help

Just to get a loan to buy myself some wine and beer

Fill this hole of mine and let my troubles disappear

‍